Quit Smoking Anyone??

Cigarettes are one of few products which can be sold legally which can harm and even kill you over time if used as intended.
Currently there are ongoing lawsuits in the USA which aim to hold tobacco companies responsible for the effects of smoking on the health of long term smokers.

Benzene (petrol additive)A colourless cyclic hydrocarbon obtained from coal and petroleum, used as a solvent in fuel and in chemical manufacture - and contained in cigarette smoke. It is a known carcinogen and is associated with leukaemia.

Formaldehyde (embalming fluid)A colourless liquid, highly poisonous, used to preserve dead bodies - also found in cigarette smoke. Known to cause cancer, respiratory, skin and gastrointestinal problems.

Ammonia (toilet cleaner)Used as a flavouring, frees nicotine from tobacco turning it into a gas, found in dry cleaning fluids.

Acetone (nail polish remover)Fragrant volatile liquid ketone, used as a solvent, for example, nail polish remover - found in cigarette smoke.

Tar Particulate matter drawn into lungs when you inhale on a lighted cigarette. Once inhaled, smoke condenses and about 70 per cent of the tar in the smoke is deposited in the smoker's lungs.

Nicotine (insecticide/addictive drug)One of the most addictive substances known to man, a powerful and fast-acting medical and non-medical poison. This is the chemical which causes addiction.

Carbon Monoxide (CO) (car exhaust fumes)An odourless, tasteless and poisonous gas, rapidly fatal in large amounts - it's the same gas that comes out of car exhausts and is the main gas in cigarette smoke, formed when the cigarette is lit. Others you may recognize are :

Arsenic (rat poison), Hydrogen Cyanide (gas chamber poison)

source: Health Education Authority (UK) - Lifesaver
http://www.quit-smoking-stop.com/

Observe Dudes...

The powers of observation! Learn well....

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered by a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and sucked on his finger.

"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention."

TV or HP

Difference between "Wife" and "Girlfriend"

Some people say : Wife is a HARIMAU ............... Girlfriend is HARI HARI MAU

And some say: Wife is like TV, Girlfriend is like Handphone (HP)

At home watch TV, Go out bring HP.

No money, sell TV. Got money change HP.

Sometimes enjoy TV but most of the time play with HP. TV free for life but HP, if you don't pay, the services will be terminated.

TV is big, bulky and most of the time old but HP, is cute, slim, curvy and very portable at any time. Operational cost for TV is often acceptable but for HP is high and often demanding.

Most Important, TV got remote but HP doesn't have.

Last but not least....... TV do not have virus but HP have VIRUS....

Once get it, HABIS LAH. So better choose TV lah!

1st Affair

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon.Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoesoutside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home.'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.'I can't lie to you,' he replied,'I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.

'She looked down at his shoes and said:'You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!'

Dont Mess With Women

Job at the FBI

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks and interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.'We must know if you will follow your Instructions no matter what the circumstances.Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair .. . . kill her !!'

The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.'The agent said, 'Then you're not the right person for this job. Take your wife and go home.'The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.'

The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes . Take your wife and go home.'Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions.... to kill her husband ! She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard a lot of screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet.

The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. 'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. 'I had to beat him to death with the chair !'

MORAL: Women are crazy. Don't mess with them !

Happy Labour Day

For all labourers out there, pls observe 1st May as you holiday and go take some rest.

Dont go shopping.

Dont go sight-seeing.

Just do plain rest and sleep...